Not me, but my mum...
Many years ago when a was but a "little-un", we were going to the zoo for the day.

Stuck in traffic on the way there on a hot summer day with the car windows rolled down, my mum was somewhat surprised to be crapped on by a passing seagull which had worked out a shitting trajectory that would pass it's excreta through the car window and onto my mum's arm. The stuff was everywhere - must have been a big bird (the seagull, not my mum).

After much cleaning up with wet wipes and tissues we eventually made it to the zoo. Good day, ice cream, lots of new and exciting creatures to see including a rhinocerous.

We're all standing there watching the rhino when it turns away from us, takes two steps forward and then unleashes a jet of urine straight backwards.

It was like it was coming out of a firehose, a very powerful and very accurate firehose. Accurate in that it hit just one person - yup, my mum again.

We all had a lovely day, except my mother of course who, having been crapped on by a seagull who must have been related to Bomber Harris and pissed on by a markman-like rhino hadn't enjoyed her grand day out (our hysterical laughter at her plight probably hadn't helped).
( JugglerJAF It's curtains for you.Lacy gently wafting curtains, Fri 3 Jun 2005, 7:21, Reply)