Tiger volley and Emu attack
OK, one from a friend, and one from my boy, Russ.

Said friend was much younger, and had just had first child. The family decided to go to the Porpoise Pool on the Gold Coast (closed over 20 yrs ago now) where there were a goodly assortment of animals hitherto unknown in Queensland coastal holiday towns. San stopped in front of the tiger's cage, awestruck by it's size and restrained power. Seconds later, the tiger turned, so they all leaned closer for an action shot with the camera, and the tiger let fly with a deadly accurate stream of hot tiger wee, which missed both San and her husband, but which liberally coated their six month old baby and the pram. After the screams died down, and the horrified Pool manager refunded their entry fees and offered a free meal, San and family had to pack up the stinking pram and the freshly bathed and naked baby and head for home. Apparently the peculiar odour of big cat urine hung around on the child for some days, despite repeated washings, and the pram was written off.

Second story: My boy was visiting a wildlife park on the north coast, and an emu came alongside the car looking for a feed. Russ had anticipated this, and had purchased a bag of feed at the entry kiosk, hoping for some great close up action shots. Emu reaches the car, Russ winds down window and gives camera to daughter to take an action shot. Emu darts its head into car, knocks bag of feed out of Russ' hand. Not such a disaster, until the emu leaned right into the vehicle, and started snatching at the fallen feed, which was now scattered all over Russ' general genital area. Cue screaming and expletives as emu latches on to more than it should rightly have found in its meal. After the bird was frightened away, Russ asks daughter if she got any action shots. She is still purple in the face from laughing, and no, she didn't get any pictures, she was laughing so hard, she nearly wet herself.

All pain and no gain.
( Shazzoir Old enough to know better young enough not to care, Fri 3 Jun 2005, 12:49, Reply)