Demon cat
On a trip down to Newquay with the lads we got seperated from the one guy who had the directions for the camp site (bastard put his foot down on the motorway and left us, revenge was taken later but that's another story).
Anyway, one of the group said that his sister went to uni there and lived a few miles down the road, so we could crash on her floor for the night. We arrive at the house where we meet his sister and the cat from the planet Evilcunt. It hissed at me as soon as I walked through the door and just watched me from the windowsill making that horrible growling noise.
After a couple of hours drinking large amounts of very cheap cider everyone starts to drop. This was when the first attack happened. I felt something touch my toe followed by a claw trying to remove the flesh from the bone. Cue a hefty kick to the moggy bastard.
About half hour later I'm just drifting off and a vengeful moggy bastard leaps at the net curtain behind me, swings on it and digs the claws into my head. ALL FOUR SETS OF CLAWS INTO MY FUCKING HEAD!!! It then starts to climb the curtain to get away so I punch it. Cat goes flying and takes off around the room like a demonic wall of death spreading terror in it's wake. The sister wakes up and has a go for assaulting her cat and demanding to know who picked her pot plant clean. I have to sleep in the car but at least I had a joint to go with it :)
My mate trod on it on his way out and it took a chunk out of his leg so he kicked it up the arse destroying any chance of staying there again. As we left I swear the bastard was smirking at us, evil little shit.

Apologies for length and girth, but with practice and patience you can take it all
(boltneck sacrificed a smurf to Cthulhu on, Sat 4 Jun 2005, 2:06, Reply)