Flesh eating Hamster
On my 9th birthday i was bought a hamster by my parents. We went to the petshop and i chose a beige one, it was sat in my hand doing cute Hammy type stuff , i decided to call it fudge. We got fudge home and it turned out that he was a little unstable, ok one minute, chewing your thumb the next...

Around 6 months on and my parents seperrated, i ended up living with my grandma for a while... we have been there for a few months and the Hamster disposition is getting worse and worse.

I came home from school one day to find my dear old Gran feeding Hammy pieces of raw meat through the bars... the bloody thing had a taste for flesh!! The very next clean out the little shit decided to make a brake for freedom, after an hours worth of farce we had the little fucker cornered BUT, it was soooo vicious nobody dare pick it up...

Enter stage left my uncle, an 18 stone, 6 foot 4 squaddie just back on leave from service in northern ireland, the were some mutterings about being soft buggers and it was only a sodding hamster ... what was all the fuss about... blah blah blah ...

The resulting scene was one of such epic hilarity it rivaled the Rabbit scene from The Pythons "Holy grail", the melee started with my uncle going for a 2 handed scoop, but alas the hamster anticipated this move , side stepped and sank its teeth into his hand, hard. With a war cry of "You little twat" my uncle put his years of unarmed combat training into use using a violent wrist flick, the rodent flew across the room and slammed into a cupboard door then fell to the floor... the beast was stunned, so soldier boy went in for a second recovery attempt only to be bitten a second time, this time the counter ws different, the hand complete with hamster was plunged into the washing up bowl, it was held under for what seemed like an age but the plucky rodent was having none of it, in a final bid to remove the posessed rodent it was bashed on the worktop with a whiplash flick of the wrist... the hamster conceded defeat and let go , wet tried and bruised it knew that it had been finally beaten.
The very next day it was advertised in the newsagents window as free to a good home, the smelly fat kid from round the corner came and took him... i loved that hamster
(Ickypimp, Wed 8 Jun 2005, 10:01, Reply)