When Sheep Attack - 100% True story - ask Rhubarb Triangle and Humpty Dumpty Was Pushed!
So me and the lads are on a mountain biking week away in Scotland in February. One day, on a ride. laid out before us a fantastic wide steep trail cutting down through the woods and into the fields in the valley bottom and to a farm. Absolutely idyllic.

So being big and strong I set of first - tearing down the trail, swooping left, swooping right, lovvin it and not in a MacShite kind of way.

Then I saw the sheep (plural of sheep?) Sheepses on the left. about 6 of them, doing what sheepses do, i.e. eating something and standing there.

They spot my lycra clad figure hurtling down the valley at about the same time I spot them, and five of the six sheep leg it across the path away from the fence and in to a convenient field. Sheep number 6 is left alone, on the left, eating a thistle (Well it is Scotland).

Sheep number 6 is stupid - I know this for 2 reasons.
1) it was stupid enough to run across in front of me as i was riding past it. It ran in to my front wheel. I estimate i was going about 30-35 MPH. The bike stopped. Cursing Isaac newton i flew over the handlebars. I landed. i don't remember anything for a while after that.

2) If it wasn't stupid before It would be after. The lads following me came round the corner to see me laid in a heap on the floor, fair amount of blood etc around, bike in a heap with a chunk of sheep firmly attached to the forx, and a sheep, laid on it's back, legs in the air, doing what can only be described as fitting spasmodically, shaking it's legs in the air and with tongue hanging out. When I woke up they put me back on my bike and we rode off, me missing significant portions of skin and clothing.

Gained a bit of wool though!

No apologies for length, girth, bend or flavour - the ladies (and sheep) love it.
( ogwen69 has returned from Reddit, Wed 8 Jun 2005, 14:42, Reply)