Ive got plenty o' stories for this entry, but ill pic only a few highlights.
The wife hates it when I call her 'Wife' or 'Wifey' .. drives her into a rage

She snores like a train going by at night

She seems to - with what can only be described as an iron sphincter - save up her farts all day long, only to let them all come flying out in the middle of the night while she is asleep. So Im kept awake by the snoring and then gassed every night without fail.

Oh and dont tell your wife she 'wobbles' when she walks. It doesnt go down too well

Ive had my fair share of annoying (and sometimes downright crazy) ex's too. While some of these may be slightly OT, I figured what the hell, ill chuck them in.

Theres the ex that used to do copious amounts of amphetamine who one day, in some form of drug induced paranoia, decided that I was having an affair with a woman I had never even met or knew. This resulted in ex holding me hostage in her flat waving a kitchen knife at my throat every time I tried to leave. That partnership was over, once the police had liberated me from the hostage situation.

There was the ex who had the smelliest fanny ever. I love going down on a lady, but tried it once with her and just couldn't stop gagging. Never tried again. Her odor would seemingly change from day to day. I tried dropping subtle hints, no result. I tried dropping un-subtle hints like buying her a douche and recommending a visit to the gynecologist - still no result. When it got to the day where the odor was akin to week old tuna meets "Ive just pummeled my vag with a bunch of month old spring onions" the limits of my ability to put up with almost any odd quirk were met and I called time on that one.

There was the ex who really loved receiving anal play. I mean 'screaming down the house' *LOVED* it. But who then spent a week mentally beating herself up and being depressed for being so "unclean" - while squarely blaming me for her feelings (until the next time she fancied giving it a go). Batshit. I actually got her into counseling and shes a lot happier with her sexuality now.

Oh and for comedy value, theres the ex who gave me my first blowjob as a teenager. She assured me she loved swallowing, so I did the responsible thing and blew my load. I dont think she expected the volume I seem to produce and, mid swallow, she choked. Cue much coughing and spluttering which had the wonderful side effect of making spunk come rushing up her throat, flying out of her nose and decorating her face. Through her jumping around, shouting and rushing to the bathroom, I got the picture that spunk burns like fuck if you get it in the nose ;)

It was, of course, all my fault and she dumped me
(shamen Geekius Maximus, Fri 5 Aug 2011, 15:39, 3 replies)

"I got the picture that spunk burns like fuck if you get it in the nose "
Yes it does, and yes it made me throw up when it trickled out of the back of my nose and into my throat
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Sat 6 Aug 2011, 1:49, closed)

Well, that's delayed dinner by about an hour.

(all my scars face forward possesses 2.5% of a hyperalloy combat chassis, Sat 6 Aug 2011, 16:06, closed)

for a moment
I wondered if you were the same lady, but upon reading your other posts you are not :) *phew*
(shamen Geekius Maximus, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 14:38, closed)