Ahhh, the ex
Where to start?

She loved me the way I am. Well, except the hair. And the eyebrow piercing. And the beard. And the teeth. And the fact I wear t shirts and jumpers. And my trousers (apparently the reason I don't wear jeans is because I'm closed minded, not because I find them uncomfortable). And my shoes. Yup, she loved me exactly how I was.

She argued that, as she couldn't shag random blokes she met on AOl, due to being in a relationship with me, it was only fair that I sacrifice something as well and quit smoking. She would later try to convince me that I wanted an open relationship because that's what she wanted.

She blatently tried to blackmail me into applying for a job at the call centre I used to work at, despite her knowing how much I hated the place, using a very badly thought out plan.

She thought that when I said I was going out for a couple of drinks that I meant literally two drinks and promptly got upset when it was more than that.

Anything she did to upset me couldn't be mentioned ever again. Naturally, anything I did to upset her was fair game in arguments. Any habits she had that I didn't like I just had to put up with, any I had that she didn't like had to be changed immediately.

We fought over my dress sense (see sbove), my belief that as I owned 2 suits I didn't need a seperate pair of dress trousers (my srgument being if I was in a situation where I'd need them I probably actually needed a suit), laundry detergent and, best of all, a full on half hour argument about a group I joined on facebook.

Any time I had a profile picture anywhere that wasn't the two of us together, except before we met for the first time, was proof that I didn't love her.

Then we split up.

I couldn't log into MSN because she'd keep plaguing me to talk to her. She'd try phoning me a couple of times, then try again a few hours later. As she lives in Arizona and I'm in Middlesbrough, this meant she'd phone about midnight - 1am and then again at between 2 - 4am. Apparently she forgot about that time difference.

She also planned to come over and see me not long after we split up. The trip went ahead as planned, because she couldn't get a refund and she has other friends here. We were also planning to go to Aberdeen and spend a few days at my mums. That part also went ahead with the only thing strange about her staying with her ex's parents being that I wasn't there. Apparently.

Thankfully she's now got the hint and doesn't try to get in touch with me.
(williamthebloody, Fri 5 Aug 2011, 16:38, 3 replies)

Middlesbrough
Get. Out. Now
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Sat 6 Aug 2011, 1:51, closed)

I'm so sorry...
That she killed your bunny.
( kila is reading clocks upside-down as usual, Sat 6 Aug 2011, 12:41, closed)

Did you meet on the internet by any chance?
Long distance internet relationships ftw!
*sarcasm*
( user_names_suck, Sat 6 Aug 2011, 13:36, closed)