My better half is a great fan of disaster films.
Unfortunately she also tends to get drawn into them and forget that Hollywood has a habit of exaggerating physical laws as well as just plain making shit up.

In the past six months as a direct result of her seeing numerous films in which the world nearly ends (Thank you very fucking much Sky and your free film channels!) she has requested the following modifications to the house: -

A large fireplace, A basement, an electrical generator, a reinforced roof, a fuel storage tank, a water storage tank independant of the main supply, a solid fuel stove and my absolute favourite, a fucking raft.

We live in a smallish two-up two-down terraced house on the outskirts of Derbyshire.
( Muns, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 16:46, 5 replies)

I've been to Derby city centre
it looks like the zombie apocalypse has started already
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 17:01, closed)

Top tip from Viz:
Pretend you're in the video for Michael Jackson's Thriller by going into a Weatherspoon's pup at 11am.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 17:04, closed)

she's requesting a basement?
Dude, either you have a cellar already or you have to hire a JCB digger.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Thu 14 Jun 2012, 18:29, closed)

No, she's asking for abasement.
I'll do it. With my erect penis, if she likes.
(judgetheobscure used to sweep in butchers' shops., Fri 15 Jun 2012, 0:13, closed)

the JCB option.
Apparently they're not that expensive to hire...
( Muns, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 13:06, closed)