Dr Ball was the head of chemistry, and looked like a thin version of Santa Clause.
He was a kind, shy, slightly nervous man, and didn't fare well with the thicker, bullying-type lads.

On the morning of the open day, however, the school was absolutely littered with signs saying "Chemistry Demonstration Lab 4 2pm".

In Lab 4, the chairs had been laid out like a theatre, in front of a table which was covered in kit, and the original WWII blackout curtains had been drawn. By 2pm the place was absolutely rammed with parents and prospective pupils.

Suddenly the lights went out, pitching room into complete darkness, and the audience hushed. The door at the back creaked open, slammed, and in strode Dr Ball, armed with a lit candle on an old Victorian holder.

He marched up to the desk, where he lit a bunsen burner with the candle. The flickering orange flame gave him a demonic look, illuminating his white beard, and reflecting from his glasses.

"Good afternoon," he said confidently. "and thank you for coming - welcome to Lab 4. The benefits of Chemistry are myriad, and I hope to be able to outline a few of them today. If your son decides to take Chemistry, he will have the opportunity to learn how to do things like this" BANG whIIIIIIIIIIIIIIZZZZZZZZ! BANG! A sheet of green flame shot along a glass tube to explode with some force, covering the front row with dust.

"Of course," he continued, "there is also the theoretical side, which might not appear quite as exciting initially, but will lead him to conclusions that may well produce things like this:" SHOOOOM POP! Pffft BANG! further explosions, flames and residue.

For an hour he blew stuff up, set light to things, exploded half the room and shot sweet-smelling dust over everything. To this day it was one of the most singularly exciting, well-choreographed and interesting shows I have ever seen.

He left the room to a standing ovation, and a hundred lads all tugging their parents' sleeves and instructing them that they wanted to be a chemist when they grew up.

Fucker didn't mention co-valencies once, mind.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 13:02, 1 reply)

Me too
I too followed the advice of my secondary school teacher in to the abyss of A Level Chemistry...

Precious metals theory. Killed me and any residual passion for the subject...
( elgordo, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 15:05, closed)