My First Day in Comprehensive.
It my first day in the big school, and i was shaking like a shitting dog. I'd heard all kinds of horror stories, sod getting your head flushed town the toilets by the 6th formers, i'd heard that in comprehensive they actually expected you to do work in class instead of seeing how much lego you could fit up a nostril...

Understandably, i was apprehensive. After a couple of hours of being issued exercise books and timetables, we were herded off to our first lesson. Maths with Mr. Adams. We'd already been told that he was an ex-wrestler, and had swum the channel. I was therefore somewhat surprised to find he was an incredibly skinny old man in his 60's with a huge straggly beard. The wrestling had been about 30 years earlier.

However, he started the first lesson, first day, with screaming. Directly into our faces. "YOU WILL NOT TALK! YOU WILL NOT MESS AROUND! YOU WILL STAY IN YOUR SEATS! IF YOU WANT SOMETHING, HOLD UP YOUR HAND, AND WAIT! ANYTHING OTHER THAN QUIETLY DOING YOUR WORK AND YOU'LL WISH YOU'D NEER BEEN BORN!"

I shat myself. My face was lightly sprinkled with spit. All my fears of the big school were realised. This was horrific. The class greeted this outburst with total and complete silence.

And then he said -

"Good. Now if you turn to page 14, we'll get started."

From that point on, he was completely lovely. Patient. Calm. Quiet. Always a smile on his face. I only had him for that first year, he retired after that. But no-one ever messed around in his class.
(zendog, Wed 23 Mar 2011, 19:03, 1 reply)

That got a click
Simply for the phrase "shaking like a shitting dog".
(fannymcslap Slap my mcfanny, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 8:36, closed)