Dear God
Having 3 kids means that any time I would like to spend a night away with my other half we have to hire a babysitter (L, a friend of the family whos too young to go out drinking). I’m not complaining, I know that this is one of the things you have to do when you have children.

Last Friday was a friend’s 30th birthday and we had to use an alternate babysitter M (a 20 year old relative of our neighbours) as our usual one was away in Mexico fighting the oppressive land owners (I don’t know where she was the wife usually deals with this sort of thing so I’ll go with the first thing that came to mind- a plot from one of the old episodes of A Team).

Early in the week neighbour had informed me that M was bedridden with a stomach problem and may not make it by the end of the week but she would let me know by Wednesday. By Wednesday I was informed that M was still pretty ill but they had found the source of the problem after a mate of hers visited the house.

M’s Mate: Erm M whats with all these bottles of milk?
M: Oh I got them on offer, good idea aren’t they, just the right size.
M’s Mate: I didn’t think you had a cat?
M: I don’t why?
M’s Mate: This is for pets
M: Oh… I thought it tasted different

That’s right the woman I was going to leave in charge of my kids for a night had been drinking cat milk in her tea/coffee/ cereal/ anything else that needs milk for the past week or so and was suffering from the after effects (Whatever they are). Apparently M said that in her defence the idea of a cat on the front could have been a mascot as there’s no monkey in Coco Pops.

My reply of how about the sodding Whiskas logo on the front or the actual label that says CAT MILK wasn’t that a big giveaway was treated with humour but in the end I decided to cancel the babysitter and stop in while the wife went with one of her friends instead. I just feared coming back to find her dead from injesting bleach because she thought it was an orange drink (Well it has a picture of an orange on the front).

Bit long that wasn't it?
(mon bison powered by magnets, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 10:37, 7 replies)

1000000
WOO YAY! FUCK YEAH!
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 10:40, closed)

er its not milk from cats
its just cow's milk that has been treated to degrade the lactose within. Perfectly safe for humans to drink.
(mersault, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 12:31, closed)

ahh right
I knew it wasn't milk from cats I was just more bothered about the idea of someone who drank something that said cats milk on the front, had a picture of a cat on the pack and was also from Whiskas, the cat food company.

Good to see that it wont do her any long term damage anyway
(mon bison powered by magnets, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 13:04, closed)

Can you milk a cat?

( rofl harris, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 13:09, closed)

IF YOU HOLD IT DOWN LONG ENUF
Although the gardening gloves necessary to survive the task often impede technique...
(mersault, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 14:10, closed)

Good to see that James Bond has settled down to raise a family,
but keeps in touch with the old firm.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 20:47, closed)

Hehe

(Dermot O'Logical, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 15:12, closed)