Online dating
So I have tried it, and so have lots of my friends.

I thought it seemed like a good idea at the time, at a time of singleness.

I had a couple of dates with eligible men, as you do. One in particular who tickled my fancy and who seemed like the kind of bloke I would get on with. He had a beard and was ginger so he was already ahead in the sexy stakes.
How WRONG could a girl be?
He was the most boring man I had ever met, all he did was 'umm and arrr' while staring at my tits. It's not like I had them out for the world to see, but it's hard to avoid them, but still. No effort at all to get on, so I made my excuses and left. Very quickly. It was a shame really as I was all fired up too.
Thankfully however I made it home to my flatmate who was still awake even at a very late hour.
She had a similar night, a blind date gone wrong, so we sat and chatted about it for a while.
One bottle of wine turned into 3 and we got to talking about what we wanted out of a date. We both agreed that we didn't want anything serious, just a whole lot of fun. Which led us onto talking about our previous sexual experiences.
Turns out, we had both had sex with other women, which I had NO idea about before we moved in together. I must admit it excited me, she was beautiful and had the most amazing body.
After a few hours and what turned into flirting, we found ourselves close, so close, and started to kiss.
God, she felt so good, her soft warm lips against mine. Her tits brushing against my hard nipples, I had all but forget my date earlier in the evening.
As she reached down to slide her fingers inside me, I whispered in her beautiful soft ear 'Fuck off you internet pervert, keep imagining this happens in real life after the awful bad date you just subjected a woman to. I have no doubt this is the closest you will ever get to a women, never mind 2, getting their clothes off in real life. Ever. Yeah? I'm looking at you, yeah you'
( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 0:52, 10 replies)

the man said
Real Girls

But this is close enough
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 2:03, closed)

tl;dr
I gave when they started to whisper
( ferret -> twitter.com/syfyautocorrect <-, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 3:42, closed)

I like this.
However I found it very hard to masturbate to.
(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 3:54, closed)

Pfft, excellent work.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 7:59, closed)

takes me back to when I had a porn stash
instead of a porn folder
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 8:58, closed)

Oh. well played The LOVELIEST HATD. :D
But, just for the record, I'M NOT A BLOODY GINGE!
:(
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 18 Oct 2013, 9:07, closed)

Oh yes you are you little orange stud muffin.

( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 12:44, closed)

:,(
TERRIBLE BULLYING!
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sat 19 Oct 2013, 7:31, closed)

I on the other hand...
Am indeed a ginga, with a beard.
It's good to know that the sexiness stakes are so loaded in my favour.

(waxes mustache)
( DukeEuphoria Comes highly reccomended, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 17:09, closed)

lols.
Nicely!
( Infidel , shit and wrong, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 9:42, closed)