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This is a question Banks

Your Ginger Fuhrer froths, "I hate my bank. Not because of debt or anything but because I hate being sold to - possibly pathologically so - and everytime I speak to them they try and sell me services. Gold cards, isas, insurance, you know the crap. It drives me insane. I ALREADY BANK WITH YOU. STOP IT. YOU MAKE ME FRIGHTED TO DO MY NORMAL BANKING. I'm angry even thinking about them."

So, tell us your banking stories of woe.

No doubt at least one of you has shagged in the vault, shat on a counter or thrown up in a cash machine. Or something

(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 13:15)
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HSBC Jersey
Woked overseas for 3 decades.
Lucky enough to meet my mates daughter (out on a visit to see her folks).
We clicked, she moved overseas so we could be together.
Married, in Kilwinning, a few more years overseas.
Realised we had enough to retire on.
Home.
I tried to open a wank account, same problem, "sorry sir, you are not on the electoral role".
Opened a joint account with the wifes bank (Clydesdale).
Phoned up HSBC Jersey, I want to close all accounts and transfer all funds to XXXX, hold the line line sir while I transfer you.
The new operative (apparently), only undestands the French language.
My repeated requests, to transfer my funds to another bank proved futile.
So I wrote a cheque (for the balance) and sent it to the Clydesdale joint account.
Two days later, received a snotty letter from the Clydesdale, your cheque has bounced, you owe us £15 administration charges.
Bastards.
Next morning, off to Glasgow for a visit to the first floor suite at the HSBC.
Having presented my credentials, I was ofered tea/coffee/sandwich biscuits, and a "how can we help you sir".
I explained the previous events and asked for my money.
"Would you like a cheque sir?"
No thanks, that doesn't seem to work. Give me my money.
"But we don't keep that much on the premises"
No problem, I will be over the road in the Horshoe bar, give me a shout when it's availble.
And a few hours later, it was.
Well, just to be sure, I would like to see it verified before me. So they set about it.
Happy with the tally, I weighed this in with the local Cldedsdale bank (the manager and a flunky checked the bundles).
The Manageress cancelled the banks red letter.

Don't bank with HSBC Jersey.

Bankers are a cuntch of qw
wunts
(, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 17:40, Reply)

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