This one time
I was down in London, but I'd forgot to call my mates before I went down, and when I arrived they were out. Fuck. Cunt. Bastard. So I was in an all-night cinema when I met this guy and he said I could crash it his. Well, I was knackered, so I thought, oh well, a bed's a bed.

Woke up and the guy was wanking off onto my face.
(McChinaman banned, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:39, 7 replies)

God that's awkward!
Did you immediately shut your eyes and pretend to still be asleep or did you have to face the embarrassment of confronting your pervy host about it?
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:53, closed)

Good read, that. Would pick it up again if I still had it in the house.
It was also my first experience of reading anything in Scots.
( .Yeti., Fri 18 Feb 2011, 14:11, closed)

I was disappointed that bit wasn't in the book.
When I heard Dale Winton was in the film, me and brother laid bets that he would be the wanker. Shame, I think they missed a trick.
(McChinaman banned, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 14:25, closed)

which
book is it?
(dchurch bah, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 16:59, closed)

It was also my first experience of reading anything in Scots

How's that for a clue?
(McChinaman banned, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 17:08, closed)

Is it the guy
that did Trainspotting?

But only the dialogue is in Scots isn't it?

EDIT This is an example of something written completely in Scots.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 18:13, closed)

Trainspotting
Some parts are written in English with Scots dialogue, some are written in Scots English and some are written phonetically - en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trainspotting_%28novel%29#Structure
(McChinaman banned, Sat 19 Feb 2011, 0:35, closed)