Wanking Disasters Part IIDespite the warnings contained in our previous question on The Act of Onan, you all still appear to be masturbating like monkeys in a zoo. Tell us your stories of jerking the gherkin and double-clicking the mouse.
Suggested by Mrs Entity and DaveExclamationMark, voted for by YOU
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 12:22)
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Whittling my fuck fungus to an imagined bacon-and-mayo bapI've always been sent into a froth of salty fitfulness by colourful and creative terms for filth organs and acts of sweaty depravity. So imagine my joy when I stumbled upon a website full of over-embroidered stories of both real and imagined onanistic gymnastics. Clutching my thrashing gurnard in my feverish cunt-fist, nightly I wallop a spunk-rainbow into my faithful chlorine-mop. All this, of course, when the house is in darkness and no-one can discover me, Hawking-contorted and turning my Fireman Sam hat into David Cameron's poppers-face. Once someone nearly caught me as I was about launch a jet of cum-krill over the description of someone's ex-girlfriend's iced chest-haemorrhoids, but I think I got away with it. Sorry for the shaky typing.
(, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:24, Reply)
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