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This is a question Wanking Disasters Part II

Despite the warnings contained in our previous question on The Act of Onan, you all still appear to be masturbating like monkeys in a zoo. Tell us your stories of jerking the gherkin and double-clicking the mouse.

Suggested by Mrs Entity and DaveExclamationMark, voted for by YOU

(, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 12:22)
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There was this time, where I couldn't wank for two weeks
I was having a shit when a hot rock from the joint I was smoking landed right on my knob.

Couldn't even have sexy thoughts because a hard on would cause the scab to split.
(, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:38, 1 reply)

I keep going to click this, and cringing a little inside
(, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:44, closed)

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