During Uni...
I worked part time in Sainsbury's, scanning rotting food and selling it at low low prices to the bargain hungry scavengers.

Among the fruit and veg staff, was a particularly nerdy jobsworth called Jon, with a broad cockney accent. Jon had no concept of other languages, thus would talk to customers at length about "shite ache" (Shiitake) mushrooms and "Phyllis" (Physalis).

Once given the "promotion" of being till trained, he used this to lord it over everybody like the twat he was.

Jon however, was no match for one of the managers, Ian. Ian was a little Napoleon, with the accompaniying nasty personality. He was shagging one of the till girls on the side, frequently caught out by staff, then threatening to sack them if they told anyone (despite the fact that EVERYONE knew anyway). Ian was also a tool of the highest order, thus:

At the end of a long day, all the mutants had gone home (seriously, everyone in New Cross has something extra or something missing), and we were cleaning up before doing much the same. Seeing the fish counter still filled with ice, Ian orders the girl there to use the hose on it. "But if I..." she starts, but is immediately cut off and threatened with unemployment if she doesn't do as he says. Knowing full well what's about to happen, she has no choice but to get the hose out, water down the refridgerated cabinet, and watch as the electrics and cooling unit flood, spark and start to gently smoke. Naturally, this was her fault...

Ian, Jon, if you're reading this, unlikely as last I checked neither of you could even read, get fucked you officious little pricks.
( Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Thu 24 Jan 2008, 10:26, 2 replies)

SE
*Click just for SE-Londonness. I live in Greenwich and New Cross is indeed full of mutants. Especially at the Venue on a Friday night.
(pmsc, Fri 25 Jan 2008, 19:44, closed)

Oh sweet Jesus the Venue...
I went through there the other day and saw that they'd refurbished it...

By painting it white instead of black.

:D
( Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Sat 26 Jan 2008, 12:28, closed)