Simon Chicken Station
On the back of several Maccy D's posts...

Simon Chicken Station is infamous where I come from.

First a little history. I was a floor manager at a maccy d's in the late 90s just before I went to uni. We had the usual misfits, losers, crackheads, and dweezels. But there was a shiny beacon of weirdness which was called Simon Chicken Station.

He was a 30yr old mentally retarded bloke who the local job centre had forced upon my branch of mcdonalds and to be fair the mcmanagement wanted to look good in the community so they went along with it. He worked pretty much 6 days a week, and then took the bus back to his house and his mum to watch his frankly astonishingly large collection of disney videos.

He always wore his mcdonalds baseball cap even when going home and social occasions i.e. awful, awful team nights out (indeed I always wondered if he actually had more than a fringe of hair), had appalling teeth, and dribbled literally everywhere and on everything. Not the type of person who you want manning the chicken station really (you would be forgiven for thinking that this desciption of a McDonald's employee is nothing out of the ordinary) but he would cry if asked to man the quarter pounder grill or the fry station.

His notoriety and appearance grew to such proportions that customers (either on the drive thru or at the front and who wanted a faux chicken product) asked who was on the chicken station. If the reply was "simon", then they hastily re-thought their choices on the menu.

I never really knew what happened as I left and went on my way, but I did hear that that particular McD got closed down due to the semen content of the mcchicken sandwiches. It might have been an urban myth, but it certainly did get closed down. I would like to think that Simon Chicken Station had grown up and it was his way of both sticking it to the man, and professing his love for Ariel the little mermaid.

Incidentally if i get enough clicks I will reveal the location of the now re-opened MD branch. Who knows, he might still be there?
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Thu 24 Jan 2008, 13:52, Reply)