Bonzo....
There can be only one....

I was 20 years old and after bumming around for a few years after leaving school thought I’d better get myself a decent job and so, with CV in hand I headed into big London to see if the streets were paved with gold.

I stumbled into a recruitment agencies doorway and handed over my CV to one of the people who I swore had to stifle a snigger at my CV brilliance.

And as luck would have it a job was duly found for me working as an input clerk for what was Midland Bank.

And his name was Bonzo, I shit ye not, and to this day I have no idea what his real name was, that’s how he introduces himself in the interview, he dressed in the loudest shirts possible complete with comedy ties, some of which played tunes.

On dress down days he wore shorts and carribien shirts Timmy Mallet stylee

His voice was quite possibly more shouty than the great Blessed bearded one

It turns out this guy was not very well liked in the department, many of whom were there just for beer tokens, I was taken out for lunch several times in my first week and told all about his shouty ways and embarrassing people in the office.

It all came to a head about 6 months after I’d started and he was suspended for finally pissing off one too many people, the downside to this was he was a member of the union, who after 2 months off on full pay gets him reinstated on some technicality.

Best 2 months in the job, quiet, peacefull, calm.

After a brief discussion with work colleagues we all resigned all at the same time*


Oh the look on the managers face was a picture


*Bit of an exaggeration – however we all did leave or get reassigned to different departments as soon as we possibly could

p.s Length ? no idea but he was as bald as a coot so he looked like a cock
(The Dirty Fingernail still picking at the scab of life, Fri 25 Jan 2008, 13:50, Reply)