Let me tell you about my arch nemesis
He's toast now... but this is his tale.

He was a freelancer on contract - like me. The downside was that he was admin, whereas I am one of those awkward talented types that does real stuff. His role, apart from writing policies that nobody adhered too, was to collate timesheet's and get a permie (someone responsible on staff) and sign them.

He told me he could not scan a signed timesheet and email it to me because he didn't have a scanner. when I pointed to the scanner shaped object on his desk and asked "what the fuck is that then?" he said it wasn't plugged in. I could have told him to "plug the fucker in then" but I knew I had more chance of coming in the queen mother's mouth than winning this one.

Then he sends me an instant message saying my timesheet was ready, where should he email the scan to. When I reminded him he said he didn't have a scanner he said he was joking. He did have a scanner in the photocopier but he would have to walk across the office to use it. Again, I should have stated that he should get off his fat gay arse and do so, but mentally I was lining up other members of the royal house to do...

The final straw. My 6 month contract was up for renewal, so I ask for a rate increase from my agent. My agent who also sees my contract as up for renewal, she starts the ball rolling. My nemesis explains that I am not on 6mth contract, but 12 month, so no chance of a rate rise. Both my agent and I ask to see the work order. This muppet had taken the original, crossed out 6 and inserted 12.... a full two months after the initial contract started.

I hope he catches teh bummer's disease and dies painfully.

Apologies for length. If you don't like it cross some of it out in biro.
( Piper Alpha is being a grumpy northerm bastard on:, Mon 28 Jan 2008, 13:55, Reply)