Bastard colleagues
One Bastard colleague that I'll refer to as bastard-prick-colleague that we used to work with was one of those bastard colleagues that got all the way to the high ranks of assistant trainee supervisor.

Now there used to this girl who was doing the rounds with all the guys in work, she did bastard-prick-colleague and she bought him a teddybear as some sort of present for all the stupid presents he may have bought her.

After a very short while his time with her was up as she moved onto her next victim, so she ditched bastard-prick-colleague for my mate.

On hearing this his reaction was to get pissed and drive his new car around to her parents house,so in a drunken rage he set fire to the teddy bear and throw it into her garden and drove home as fast as possible still pissed.

So my mates doing her now and bastard-prick-colleague is still assistant trainee supervisor and my friend is just a simple shelf stacker, taking shit off him everyday because he says he took his girl away from him, although the girl in question was just doing the rounds.

well he also starts on me as he knows were friends, so we decide to plot his downfall like one example was to...


1) shit in a paper bag
2) place paper bag on his doorstep
3) set fire to it
4) run like the wind

....and hope he would answer the door and in doing so stamp the fire out and get his shoes covered in shit

Anther idea was to get his new beloved new car... by putting turps on the bonnet,nails in tyres some even talked about brake fluid pipes but most of all it was just talk about how we could get revenge but never really doing it,the best we could do was to spread the teddy bear story around so everyone knew about his burning teddies obsession.

There was also a few love letters we got hold of that he had sent to her " I don't care if you love someone else, I'll drive you around anywhere you want to go" there was a time when I thought about photocopying these and placing then around the store
However time passed and princess Di died and my best mate left but he was still a bastard-prick-colleague but no longer with us old sweats, just with the no starters.
Well after 5 years I hadn't forgot and a window of oppunity shone in my direction, my time had come it was now or never as the stoneroses classic "this is the one" rang in my ear.

This is the one
This is the one
This is the one
This is the one
This is the one

She's waited for

This is the one
This is the one
This is the one
Oh this is the one

This is the one
She's waited for

I'd like to leave the country
For a month of Sundays
Burn the town where I was born

I had spotted he had left in a handover book a message for a manager about a higher deputy store manager just slagging him off calling him a stupid little man etc etc etc
So to exact revenge I photocopied the letter making many copies and placed them around the store,even in the staff canteen,pride of place went to the one I placed on the deputy managers office.
well the shit hit the fan and bastard-prick was forced to leave he ended up working in lidle which is revenge enough but I never did get the ultimate revenge that of telling him "I did it"
(derlin9753, Tue 29 Jan 2008, 21:23, 5 replies)

Pause.
Deep breath, and relax.
(SillyMoo, Tue 29 Jan 2008, 21:52, closed)

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Sorry but that's state education for you...
(derlin9753, Wed 30 Jan 2008, 0:14, closed)

Not being able to afford paragraphs is no excuse
for not getting out there and educating yourself on such matters. They are of some import. Start with Strunk and White and let me know how you get on...
(dxg, Wed 30 Jan 2008, 2:10, closed)

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Thank you, it means a lot to me that someone cares.
(derlin9753, Wed 30 Jan 2008, 2:20, closed)

It is
a considerable improvement. (You may have gone too far with the lyrics, though).
(dxg, Wed 30 Jan 2008, 5:42, closed)