I'm a military man.
I was born to a whore in the reactor room of a trident submarine, that's most likely the reason I've got seventeen toes. I can't tell who my father is because everyone on board had a go at my dear old mum, even me sometimes, but that's just how it is in the navy, I guess.

Thanks to a small politically sensitive mis-entry in the ships log, the location recorded at the time I was born was somewhere in US waters in the Gulf of Mexico, handily gaining me dual Anglo-american nationality. A quirk I would come to benefit from in the future. When I reached 16, I had enough of being groped and interfered with by my 37 fathers so I applied for, and was granted extended shore leave.

I disembarked in Florida and a few quick narcotic exchanges provided the funding to see me through US military college. I met a whole new family of soddomists there, and remain in the military to this day. With my deep-rooted connections, I'm now working in the military wing of the pentagon among many generals who I refer to as my dear 'be-starred colleagues'.

Take that one up the 'arris! I just got promoted to Punnery Sergeant!
(Greencloud Wanted to go fishing on, Wed 30 Jan 2008, 9:38, Reply)