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This is a question Bastard Colleagues

You've all known one. The brown-nosing fucker, the 'comedian', the drunk, the gossip and of course the weird one with no mates who goes bell ringing, looks like Mr Majika and sports a monk's haircut (and is a woman).

Tell us about yours...

Thanks to Deskbound for the idea

(, Thu 24 Jan 2008, 9:09)
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No pun here
Short story: I slept with a colleague's long-term girlfriend..a few times a week for about 6 months. When he found out, he moved departments as he couldn't work with me. He quit within a year.

Long story: Many years ago I worked on the Cycles Dept. in Halfords. As it's kind of shift work, sometimes you don't certain people all the time. The guy in question worked on a Saturday and started doing a few Friday shifts which after a year of working there, is how I met him. Myself and another colleague were on the rebound (not from each other, obviously) so he suggested we get some beers with him and his missus. She would provide some friends. 4 guys, 2 girls. Oh the fun. Anywho, the dating couple had a huge row and he'd had a few drinks so stormed off in his car. The missus and her mate burst into tears - apparently this guy's a right bastard to her and can lash out.

Fast forward a couple of weeks, said couple are still seperated and she's on the rebound. Her mate was seeing my mate, so the logical step was for us to hook up.

Word got round work - some people found it highly amusing, pictures of the ex girlfriend were circulated..he was totally in the dark. A few people thought I was a right cunt, and I nearly felt bad - but I didn't really know the guy, and I didn't really like him anyway so I didn't care.

Two months later and they're going to try and sort it out. That was fine with me as I was still getting my leg over, and it was dawning on me that the lass did still quite like her ex fella, even though he was an ass. He turned up at my house one morning as he'd found out she had spent the night with me. I fobbed him off with a 'seperate rooms' story and then coincidently he started asking me for advise..there's a nasty rumor about me and women going around, sheesh!

Around the six month mark the lass takes an overdose (luckily I was in the building). Sitting in the hospital, her ex shows up. The truth comes out in true Eastender's style with lots of crying, shouting and dramatic pauses. But wait, turns out the work colleague has been seeing someone on the quiet anyway.

So, I'm a bastard colleague. Or am I? This sneaky bastard used me as an excuse to switch departments - easier job, better incentives so he started making more cash. Him and the significant other were also pulling a fast one and every so often, shagged like rabbits before realising they just weren't going to sort it out. This happened a fair few times. He'd also posed crudely for some 'sexy' photos for the lass - which myself and my friend came across when searching her phone photos in the folder 'empty.' Those images are burnt into my memory forever - his long gangly body laid out across her bed, with bunches of his hair pulled up and secured using assorted colour hair-bands, and a raging hard-on to boot. This one never got passed around work.

To tip the scales, I did tell a few folk he asked for things to be inserted into his bottom. I'm not sure how true it is, but it was spread around work, and it came from the mouth of his ex. On the Store Manager's last day, he went to shake everybody's hand as we left. There was one hand he didn't shake - followed by the words 'Careful son, I know where that's been.'

He quit within a year, mainly for a better job as it all went downhill after the above Manager left. Still, makes the short version far more interesting.

I was probably 18 at the time, and they were together for 2 years or so. I still see the guy and we get on well. He actually thanked me because it got him together with a lovely new lass - infact I believe they're still a couple. The lass is now at Uni and doing really well for herself - apparently they were holding each other back.

Length? I didn't study the photo for too long, but it looked more than adequate.
(, Wed 30 Jan 2008, 17:56, Reply)

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