Just
make sure if you do it that you do it convincingly.

Women can spot a half-hearted proposal a mile off and if you've already demonstrated a certain...unreliability...you'd better be bloody well sincere and whole-hearted when you go about proposing marriage.

Otherwise you risk (a) an instant dismissal, crushing indeed, but better than (b) a half-hearted acceptance, followed by a slow death over the coming months/years possibly whilst being legally shackled together.

I know a girl that circled the church in the limo for 30 mins before going in. 350 guests. 7 bridesmaids. Marriage over in 7 months. Divorce took 5 years, this is Ireland, so it takes forever here.

I know things are slightly easier to dissolve in the UK, but still, why go through it unless you're very sure of the person? This goes for the bride as well as the groom, if you're sure she's the one you want to be with then ask (with feeling!!) and let her make her mind up about you.

Don't condemn you both to uncertainty. Her not knowing if you really meant it and you not knowing if she only accepted 'cos she thought this was the only offer she'd ever get from you.

Faint heart ne'er won fair lady. If you do it, do it properly with plenty gusto and no room for doubt, otherwise just don't.

Just my opinion as a married lady with absolutely no doubt of my husband's feelings for me. :-) You can't beat knowing how much you're valued by your other half. And you need to have that from the get-go.

Apologies for length etc. feel free to ignore, none of this might apply to your personal situation.
(Mediumsizedbear is trying to be littler., Wed 11 Aug 2010, 19:48, 1 reply)

good words
And taken on board, I love this girl with all my heart, just so wish I'd not panicked in February and screwed it all up.

We'll see, gonna leave it for now and work my hardest at building her trust up again, at the moment she feels she let her defences down and let me in and I let her down, it's going to take some work but it'll be worth it in the end.

Thanks again for all the replies* It's been a very interesting read although I feel like I've let some of you down by not going through with it, but anyway.


*except AB, you can still fuck off!
(Kip, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 21:06, closed)