I once had a bout of food poisoning...
I drifted off some hours before, but I woke in the dead of the night only to realise that my stomach was rather unhappy with something it had eaten earlier in the evening. I felt weak and nauseous and before I could muster the energy to get to the toilet my guts started to expel their contents at top velocity. It hit the wall next to the bed and I proceeded to puke the rest onto the duvet. I was completely delirious by this point and I didn't have the strength to move so I just kept puking all over the bed and the wall. And when I stopped puking I felt instantly better. It was if the toxins were gone.

I surveyed the damage I had caused. One vomit encrusted wall - check. One fetid and violated duvet - check. And a bed where you could clearly see the bits of meat, peas and carrots I had eaten earlier - check. I felt completely spent from the whole episode so I decided the best thing to do would be to commandeer the bit of the duvet and bed that was still vomit free. I drifted off into a sweet slumber dreaming of soft white bunnies frolicking in the green grass and then being snatched away by an eagle with talons that popped their little eyeballs like grapes.

Apparently the smell in the morning when my mum came to wake me up for school was revolting . She said the sight of her son sleeping peacefully in a puke encrusted bed wasn't too pleasing either. The fact I'd rolled over in the night and had slept in vomit made me begrudgingly bring my weekly shower forward a few days.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 0:19, Reply)