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This is a question Bedroom Disasters

Big Girl's Blouse asks: Drug fuelled orgies ending in a pile of vomit? Accidental spillage of Chocolate Pudding looking like a dirty protest? Someone walking in on you doing something that isn't what it looks like?... Tell us about your Bedroom Disasters

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 15:14)
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I had clearly seen too many Joan Collins soft porn yarns when I lost my virginity
so no-one told me anything about the foreplay, extended or otherwise, needed to ease penetration in a sauna's (unheated) splash-pool. How could we know what might feel wrong?...This was erotic, just like Oliver Tobias on a pool swing. But we both persisted and, cold, think it better to take things to the only double bed i.e. Muvver's and Farva's. But what awful timing to find that her period had started in flagrante, to much great apologies on her part and some disappointment on mine. A Monastic education in me and a Convent education in her had let us get this far but "The Curse" had instilled in us both a latent fear of sex being sinful and forbidden. Well....perhaps more in her as in retrospect I was hardly considerate of anything.
Of course, by now you've no doubt guessed that the Benedictine Monks and Nuns of St Augustine would have been chuckling away to note that we would both stay fearful of the whole process for years to come. She, because it was such a short period and must have been a sign of sin, me because there's nothing like a young and fully engorged penis for pumping out large amounts of blood onto your parents divan when your foreskin has ripped back from your glans.
Clearly hasn't scarred me though....as 'twere.
(, Sat 25 Jun 2011, 20:25, 1 reply)
Broken Banjo String is very common
well it happened to me when I was hanging out the back of an ex a few years back. Took weeks to heal as it broke again a few times as we were eager to get practicing again.
(, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 1:06, closed)

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