Crash
A girlfriend of mine, Sally, live in a beautiful old house. The bedroom had a big brass-framed bed in it, wooden floorboards, and a fantastic view out over a park. As it was an old house everything about it was a bit rickety: in particular the floorboards were mostly loose and creaked and wobbled as you walked on them, but it was very charming.

Now Sally suffered from something called gastric reflux, which isn’t very pleasant. To combat some of the symptoms she had the head end of her bed raised up on a couple of wooden blocks: only about 5 cm, but the slope was enough to stop her coughing all night.

I’m sure you can see what’s coming. During a particularly heated moment of passion the bed went crashing down off its blocks. That in itself was bad enough: there was a very loud bang and the entire bedframe shook and jangled. However the effect of the bed banging onto the loose floorboards was that their opposite ends shot up, overturning the two bedside tables, which tipped all their contents onto the floor with a huge crash.

It’s a bit of a passion-killer when it sounds like a plane just crashed into the house and the whole bed drops suddenly and unexpectedly.
(Smale is stuffed, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 12:52, 1 reply)

Looks
great in a Carry On film though.
(Rsoles, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 18:07, closed)