A mate at uni...
... only shaved once every six months. Since he was fairly adept with the clippers, a spot of facial topiary once a week kept him from looking like an insane mountain man, but he only ever trimmed it all and shaved twice a year.

So we were surprised one day when he came into the pub with a relatively tidy Frank Zappa moustache and the rest just a patchy singed mess. Apparently, he'd got pished on two bottles of neat Morgan's, and spilt a large glass of it over himself while trying to drink and light a cigarette at the same time.

That was his beard rum disaster.

True story.
(gordonjcp, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 13:20, Reply)