Torpor: (An Ode To The Haters)
Whatever you may think about vegetables, you'd be wrong.

I can't tell you much myself, except that for every assumption you make about them, at least one plant gets fucked up. If there was a court of agronomy they would have you locked up for gross vegetable negligence, possibly even war crimes against vegetables.

Mind you, they aren't entirely blameless themselves.

Last week the carrots blocked the sink with the shreds of skin they left while preparing to cook themselves. Furthermore they left the water they boiled themselves in, and the pot too, for someone else to clean them up.

Perhaps I should avoid them.

Several minutes later there is a whiff of déjà vu in the air and a carrot, on a string attached to a stick.
Apologies for length but I didn't put it all the way up anyway - just dangled it in your face for a bit while you licked it contentedly.

Just think of it as your first time again.
(IdlePeAcEsign if trouble were my mistress, i'd send her to them, Fri 27 May 2011, 22:09, Reply)