The mystery grandfather
My mom's father is by far the black sheep of the family. Observe:

I realized, when doing the family tree several years ago, that no one knows who my great-grandfather (his dad) was. I asked my great-grandmother and she told me he was "an immaculate conception."

Grandad then grew up to drink several six-packs of beer a day and beat the everliving snot out of my mother and aunt.

I have three children (9,8,6) whom he has never laid eyes on because he doesn't leave his bedroom. I'm married for the second time, he's not met either husband. My sisters are 17 and 15, and I'm not sure he's ever met them either.

When I was 5, my mother decided that I should spend some time with my grandparents (probably so I would see what they were like and never want to see them again, which worked). Grandad and I went fishing a lot, which consisted of me fishing, him drinking a lot of beer (but always very politely offering me one first!), getting pissed and then making me drive home. Yes, putting phone books on the seat, his feet on the pedals and the five-year-old me steering.

I hope he dies soon.
(boscokitty, Wed 19 Jan 2005, 14:52, Reply)