I have a deviated septum
and had surgery to "fix" this problem a few years ago (it didn't work, merely transferred the problem to the other nostril).

This surgery basically involved having my septum broken into millions of little bits and then reset. To keep the septum in place they insert tampon-esque things up your nose.

When removing these things, you expect it to be a big old tug, and out comes a jamrag, but instead these things are made of cotton, rolled over and over like linguine. Having them romoved feels as though they are pulling spaghetti out of your nose. It's unpleasant. On the second nostril I began to boak a bit, and as the nurse finished removing the bolster I went forward and cracked my tender, bloody, uncomfortable nose on the nurse.

Blood and vomit spurted all over the nurse. I shouted in pain. I turned direction and gave my neighbour a liberal coating of blood and puke also.

I was discharged (!) shortly afterwards.
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Thu 7 Aug 2008, 14:58, 1 reply)

"Oh so that's what they call it" ...
he says able to insert a thumb up one side and a pin up the other. Then I read ...

"In most cases a deviated septum can be corrected with a minor surgical procedure known as a septoplasty, which enters through the nostrils and cuts away the obtruding matter. The surgery is performed quickly but the patient may take 1-3 weeks to fully recover."

1-3 weeks - feck that for a game of soldiers ...
(Biff..., Mon 11 Aug 2008, 17:25, closed)