Tough ex-Navy turned copper.
That's my father.
One night he was roused from his sleep by some internal commotion of the mind. Sitting up in his marital bed he saw a darkened stranger stood in the room – "Protect the queen!" screamed his better senses.

Like an heroic bastard he leapt out of bed and clocked the intruder an almighty thunder bollocks of a left hook, right in the fucking gums.

Sadly, the demented twat had simply been having yet another nightmare. The evil burglar was nothing more than papa's reflection in the tall mirror next to the bed. Cue lots of screaming and a rather horrified Ma Bag Shanker waking to the sight of her beloved squirting high pressure arterial blood all over the room, right out of the wrist.

He has no feeling in that hand to this day, and a veritable canyon of a scar. But I tell you what – his reflection has never fucked with him since.
( Wet-chinned bag shanker Cannot parse Wogan, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 15:12, 2 replies)

*click*
"his reflection has never fucked with him since"

*snigger*
( snee held his breath since, Fri 8 Aug 2008, 10:23, closed)

*clicks for same*
"his reflection has never fucked with him since."

Genius.
(Rogerthepussy, Mon 11 Aug 2008, 13:01, closed)