Wasps
I hate the little fuckers, always have. Years ago in my student flat, I spotted a 'skinhead of the insect world' buzzing around my lounge. "Right", I decided, "Time to face up to my fear and kill one". So I took some newspaper, and when the evil bastard was on the window, I splattered it on the glass. While putting my hand through the glass. It wasn't the action of putting my hand through the window that caused the damage, it was pulling it back (automatic reaction) via the jagged bits of glass. Severed 2 arteries

You know in films when you see blood spraying? That's exactly what happens. And it makes that hissing sound too. I panicked, and ran upstairs to get help, spraying blood everywhere. No one in. Fuck. I ran outside and luckily my nieghbour was working on his car and got me to A&E. Fuck knows what would have happened if he hadn't been there.

My flatmates got back to what they later described as "something from a slasher pic". I had sprayed arterial blood all over our flat, up the stairwell and all over the front door. They all freaked. The worst thing about this? The pathetic small scar, thanks to the handiwork of the NHS.

Length? About 4 foot and it hit the wall.
(ginger ninja, Fri 8 Aug 2008, 10:22, 1 reply)

Don't kill wasps
Well, don't splatter them. They release a pheremone which really pisses other wasps off and makes them sting you. Get 'em in the central nervous system instead with a good fly spray.

This was a b3ta information broadcast.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 8 Aug 2008, 11:02, closed)