NYE two years ago...
...and I ended up with a bloody nose after play-fighting with a colleague on the bed of the hotel room we were staying in, after finishing a late, drunken shift at said hotel.

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Fast forward 1 year...
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...and my nose is giving me trouble breathing, inner cartilage having been knocked out of place after the elbow-drop from NYE.

Trot off to the GP and I was put forward for a simple operation to correct it.

After a night in hospital and a straight-forward op, I returned home with my tender nose and got in bed.

Awaking the next morning with the familiar morning glory, I decided to sort it out after abstaining from self-love whilst in hospital.

After the initial first strokes, I realised that my face felt wet and my mouth tasted coppery and there was bloody pissing from my nose! Running to the bathroom, I spent the next half hour trying to stop the flow, which stopped after pulling a few lovely clotted bits out of my nose...

The next morning I felt the similar urge when I awoke, and after summing up the pros and cons for a couple of seconds, I gave it another try. With similar consequences. Only this time, the blood wouldn't stop!

Having left a trail of blood from my bedroom, across the hall, into my bathroom, I know proceeded to try and decide which receptacle was the best to hold my head over: toilet, sink, or bath?

Well, I used all three, including a vast amount on the floor, the mirror, and all the toiletries. The blood would just not stop! My bathroom resembled the scene from Scarface when the guy is cut up with the chainsaw, not a pretty sight...

I'd lost quite a lot of blood by this point, had gone quite pale and felt very faint. I managed to get to the phone to ask a mate for a lift to l'hopital, which was achieved with a tupperware container held under my nose for the duration.

Upon arrival at the hospital, I was promptly told to sit down before I "made a mess" by the lovely nurse and waited about half an hour before going to ask if I should be worried about how much blood i'd lost. Unfortunately I never made it to the desk, and passed out en route.

When I woke up, I was sat on a bed with a nurse holding my hand and a doctor extracting the bloody with a mini hoover type thing, to stop it long enough to stick the inflatable-tampon-thing up my nostrils.

He was really friendly, especially when he blocked my nose so the blood came down my throat into my mouth, which I immediately choked on and coughed in his general direction. I was asked 'extremely politely' "not to spit blood at him", like a had a fecking choice!

This link is the container he filled sucking blood out of nose, i'd guess it was a 3-4 litre capacity, and this was after it'd been bleeding for a good hour and a half!

In the end, had to spend another four nights in hospital, I was finally released after having the inflatable-tampon-things removed, after being told it was the most excrutiating pain i'd ever experience, it wasn't too bad, just bloody relieved to have them out!

Apologies for length, probably took a couple of mm cartilage out though!
(gin'll fix it, Fri 8 Aug 2008, 12:12, 1 reply)

thats a suction liner
it hold 2 litres..
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Fri 8 Aug 2008, 23:14, closed)