DSS Junkie Paradise
Way back when, as I was gradually coming to the realisation that a life of trying to persuade people that working for a living was a fucking great idea and that they should try it sometime wasn't really what I wanted from life, I heard a tale that, for a moment, convinced me that my own position really wasn't that bad in comparison.

The North East of England is mostly characterised by its sparsity of population, open rural landscapes, and small towns. Oh, and whippets*. You would think that a rampant drug problem wasn't really part of the makeup of the area, but in some instances, you'd be way off the mark.

Take Blyth, in Northumberland for example. A few years ago it had a mahoosive heroin problem, partly on account of it being a sea port. Blyth is still on my list of virtual no-go areas to be honest and I try to avoid it wherever possible. But on occasion I had to do a stint at the DSS office there. Thankfully, as it turned out, not on reception.

The customer area of the buidling was actually upstairs, accessed by a split level flight of stairs. The climbing of which posed a serious health risk owing to all the discarded hypodermics lying around. One day the whole area had to be closed off...

One punter had come in to claim a crisis loan for something (more than likely to all intents and purposes a new fridge, but in reality probably his next fix). Just prior to entering the waiting area though, he had the oh-so-bright idea of shooting up with his last remaining stash.

In his groin.

Which started to bleed rather profusely.

At which point he decided that it would be a good idea to give the receptionist nightmares by pressing his blood-soaked member up against the glass screen and rub it back and forth, ensuring a nice bloody smear for the cleaners to deal with when they came in.

I still think that Blyth should be razed to the ground.

*For purely stereotypical reasons, natch
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 8 Aug 2008, 12:35, 5 replies)

shame...
...they didn't blow it all up when they blew up the power station!

clickity!
(twiceydrinker hmmm is it pint time?, Fri 8 Aug 2008, 12:40, closed)

'Ello twicey
not seen you around for a bit...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 8 Aug 2008, 12:42, closed)

Ahh sunny Blyth
The best thing about the place is the fishing from the pier - and that's rather shit.

If ever a place had fewer redeeming features, I'm yet to see it.
(Greencloud Wanted to go fishing on, Fri 8 Aug 2008, 12:51, closed)

Like a cock based windscreen wiper....
Clickety click!
(Oil Slick, Fri 8 Aug 2008, 12:53, closed)

Memories of Blyth Summer 1994

Played a pre- season friendly against a team from Blyth when we were on a weekend in Whitley Bay, after a pretty bad tempered game in which both teams finished with 9 men, we were invited back to their local pub. We had planned to have a beer or 2 then fuck off back to Whitley Bay. We had only been there about 20 minutes when 1 of the guys in the Blyth team spat a mouthful of beer over my mate who responded by flattening the cretins nose with a headbutt. A brawl ensued, police arrived and we were escorted off the premises and given a police escort out of Blyth in a bus, which by then had 4 of it's windows kindly smashed by the local scumbags.
( Stu71 ....bad money dies, I love the scene, Fri 8 Aug 2008, 13:54, closed)