The Mad Dentist
that I had when a kid was useless. My Mum stopped using him / instigated an enquiry after this incident:

I was having something done that involved a lot of tooth drilling. Mad dentist must have got bored because his attention sort of wandered.

The image of his hand suddenly disappearing into my mouth as he said "oops" was perhaps only slightly less disturbing than the sensation of the drill ploughing quite a deep furrow through my anaesthetised tongue.

I only started to panic about 5 seconds later when I could feel my mouth filling up with what turned out to be... can you guess...?

Blood. Lots of it. I did a big red cough to clear it. The Mad Dentist started to panic when he looked at the damage and realised that a big chunk of my tongue was loose. He had to tell my Mum, phone an ambulance and make sure I wasn't drowning in my own blood.

I was fine right up to the point in A&E where the anaesthetic had worn off and they were making attempt number 5 to stitch it together: mirrors were being used and I caught a glimpse of the damage. Fuck me, it looked like a small animal had burst in my mouth. Then I spewed blood everywhere and fainted.

Ever had stitches in your tongue for a couple of weeks? It's horrible. Since this was school holidays I didn't even get to bunk off.

The Mad Dentist was struck off shortly after this and subsequently began practicing as a vet.

Length and girth unaffected.
( MisterPunch did it that way on, Fri 8 Aug 2008, 14:04, 1 reply)

what the fuck crazy drills do dentists use these days?
When I was a kid, I remember being shown the drill, and the "bit", as it were, was completely unable to cut skin and just made a tickling sensation... it could grind teeth like a motherfucker but couldn't maul your flesh.
(keyboardman, Sat 9 Aug 2008, 21:38, closed)