well errm blood obviously
A very long time ago when I was at university in the sunny shitty of Scarborough, me and a friend randomly blundered to another friends house. Whilst lounging around there we were offered a new kind of alcoholic beverage. It was called Irish Meadow and was basically a poor mans Baileys. Finishing off the bottle I decided it was almost the best thing ever and proceded to search for it at the supermarket. Every supermarket has it in some form or another - its usually about 4 or 5 quid and looks like baileys.

Anyway enough backstory, let the blood flow...
A few years later, I was working in a different supermarket in a different part of the country, My parents had gone away for a week and left me in charge of the house with specific instructions not to have anyone over. Now being the rebellious soul I am I had pre arranged that very same friend to come up to visit from Scarborough. After drinking many beer we take a trip to the shops for more. Both of us having a fondness for cheap baileys flavour drink we got a few bottles - The bottle from ASDA is called Irish Knights (the lettering looks a bit like fenceposts so we call it fencepost...)

Crossing the school field casually drinking this 15% drink like it was cola, we finish our bottles at the end of the corner of the field and decide to smash them on the concrete fencepost (a fitting end ay) anyway - A skilled bash from me shatters the bottle neatly leaving me with a pretty dangerous looking shanker. My friend does the same but hes a little bit more drunk and careless then me and he cuts his thumb open. Cue the blood.

Anyway its pretty bad, not an artery or anything but it just wont stop flowing - and we have nothing to slow the blood. Still I dont live far and we only have a fence to climbover .

Once over the fence we are making our way down a back street and some local chavscum notice us from quite a distance and come to 'borrow some money' or something. Anyway - only one of then runs to catch us and he stops to have a little chat, then noticed the blood pouring from my friends thumb, where on he backs off saying sorry and legs it to his mate.

Minutes later we are at my house at the kitchin sink washing the wound. It was about this time that my friend waved his thumb - still bleeding in my face. Being sufficiently drunk by this time I take the opposite action and instead of reeling away i take my shirt off and have my friend write 'arab' on my chest. You might be wondering why that word, well It was part of a long running joke that always amused our circle of friends but no-one else got it untill they heard it 100 times. The joke for that record was this ' "So anyway, There was this arab" Anyway the bleeding didnt stop and I got painted with more blood.

Now the pair of us, me covered in blood and him nursing his still bleeding thumb went to my friends house. His parents were also away somewhere and we wanted to 'show off'

Immediatly panicking a bit my friend brought us in and told us to clean up. Which we did, managing to splash blood around in the process.
While we were doing this my other friend ( the guy that lived there ) called an abulance for us mainly to get us to leave and we were in no fit state for much.

Now I've never been tremendously concious the last few times I have been in an ambulance and I was gonna enjoy it this time there was nothing wrong with me. The nice ambulance lady let me take a beer with me on the trip so I could have it in the waiting room.

Anyways at the hospital while my friend is having his thumb bandaged - a security guard caught me with it and took it off me - just as I finished (yay - i dont need to find a bin) we were dischaged shortly after that and left to go home and sleep it off. However we had no moneys and were a good 4 hours walk home. So we set off towards the town in high spirits causing trouble.

Wheee 1st post, sorry if I waffled on a bit there and for the spelling mistakes I know I made.
(FlangeCat, Fri 8 Aug 2008, 15:00, 1 reply)

that's not your first post
you sneaky liar you

also, I don't get the arab joke

or is it a "joke"?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 8 Aug 2008, 15:04, closed)