Bloody divers...
I have a scuba diving associate called Dave. Dave’s a nice bloke, very easy going. Had his kids young, and now he and his wife can do what they want, when they want, and are still in their late 30s and therefore still young enough to appreciate it.

For a while though, scuba diving caused Dave a slight problem in the nasal department. Essentially, dives over a certain depth would cause the blood vessels in his nose to go ‘splurge’. This first became apparent to him when he thought his mask was flooding slightly, and so he followed the standard procedure to clear it. Which, for anyone interested, is to pinch your nose, tilt your head back slightly, and blow out through your nose. It does work, honest.

Anyway, he was somewhat startled to see that the unusually crystal clear waters of the North Sea had turned a sort of inky black colour as a result. But not feeling any ill effects he continued with the dive, giving up on trying to clear his mask after a couple of goes of de-flooding it.

The poor sod on the boat (i.e. me), however, got the fright of his life when Dave surfaced, and on going to help him get his kit back on board was confronted by a man with what appeared to be a whole can of Campbell’s Condensed cream of tomato soup in his mask.

Put me off tomato soup for a few seconds, I can tell you.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 8 Aug 2008, 15:46, Reply)