gonnae no dae that
Years ago I met a brilliant bloke called Piley Pete - he was called that because of an unfortunate incident on an north sea oil rig involving a toilet, some caustic soda and some unfortunate splash back resulting in a very sore botty bot.

Anyway Pete earned a crust doing corporate team building seminars with a difference - he taught people sleight of hand tricks, street magic - levitation that sort of thing.One of Pete’s tricks involved a simple prop that has been around forever.

**TRICK SPOILER**

If you don’t want to know how silk hankies are made to disappear or how that cigarette stubbed out in your shirt malarkey is done don’t read any more.

The tucking the hankie into the hand trick is done with a fake plastic thumb tip that fits over your own en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thumb_tip
Anyway I had one of these lying in a kitchen cupboard for about 5 years when one day while cooking I chanced upon it. I have some splendid Japanese steel chef's knives and with over 20 years of honing my culinary skills, have become quite adept with them. My party piece is to slice a whole cucumber into a pile of lovely thin slices in seconds - while looking the viewer in the eye the whole time. Goes down well at dinner parties. So clearly you can see where this is going. Ketchup diluted with cooking oil and a splash of soy sauce to darken it dwn a bit makes great fake blood i find - and bits of chicken make great finger innards.

So there's Mrs. Spimf in the lounge watching telly - noise filters through from the kitchen...

CHOPPYCHOPCHOPCHOP
CHOPPYCHOPPYCHOP

CHOPCHOP....AAAAAAARRRRGGGGGGGGGGGG!

Mrs. Spimf races into kitchen there's me, my severed thumb on the chopping block and blood everywhere while holding aloft my hand with 'severed' thumb (own thumb tucked into fist - fist covered in 'blood')Fair play to her she was a trolley dolly in a past life and knows some first aid. As calm as is possible she tells me to sit down and hold the injured hand high, grabs a towel and starts raking around in the freezer for a bag of frozen peas.

When she turns round - there's old yer Uncle Spimfy doing the Macca thumbs aloft pose with a big Tom Cruise cheesy grin.

We've been together 20 years this year. She should get a bloody medal.

!
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Sat 9 Aug 2008, 20:13, 4 replies)

Top hole my son
Must try that with the 20 or so thumb tips I have lying around...
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sat 9 Aug 2008, 20:20, closed)

*she should get a bloody medal*
Noooo! she should get a bloody divorce : )
( girlinthehole, Sat 9 Aug 2008, 21:49, closed)

how?
just gonnae no!
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sat 9 Aug 2008, 23:21, closed)

She must love you a lot
=p
( vix0r was not Matthew on, Sun 10 Aug 2008, 2:25, closed)