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This is a question Blood

Like a scene from The Exorcist, I once spewed a stomach-full of blood all over a charming nurse as I came round after a major dental operation. Tell us your tales of red, red horror.

(, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 14:39)
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If only she'd been a redhead...
My best friend in primary school had been born with a serious heart defect. This had been rapidly fixed, leaving him with some interesting scars but no long-term ill effects, at least as far as I could tell. It did however mean that occasionally he'd be asked to go into Great Ormond Street Hospital for cardiovascular tests, and he'd be asked to bring along a healthy chum to provide a comparison. After the tests were complete there would be a visit to one of London's many tourist attractions. As a loyal best friend, how could I turn down a free day off school and a visit to the sights of London?

On this particular occasion we had been blowing into tubes and running on treadmills for what seemed like hours, and our reward was to be a trip to Madame Tussauds. Initially all went well and we were very impressed by waxworks of such heroes as Arnold Schwarzenegger and Mel Gibson. Unfortunately half way though our exploration my friend felt the familiar stirrings of a nosebleed - a not uncommon occurence for him, but his mother was out of sight and we had no tissues between us.

Thinking quickly, we headed toward signs for the bathroom as blood began to seep between the fingers clenched over his nose. Spotting an exit we dashed into a stairwell where, finally giving up, my friend leant over the rail and released his nose. An impressive fountain of blood gushed forth, but surely here it could do no harm? It was dripping straight down so innocent bystanders on the stairs should be safe, and back through the doorway I could see his mother approaching.

Unfortunately, the stairwell had not been empty. Closer inspection would have revealed a flexible metal ladder descending from the ceiling above, and dangling one floor below us, her trademark turquoise jumpsuit slowly staining purple and her lovely blonde hair now soiled with blood and snot, was the pride of Madame Tussauds' waxwork collection - the legendary Anneka Rice.

We didn't stay long after that.
(, Mon 11 Aug 2008, 16:59, 2 replies)
I'm going to click 'I like this'
because the thought of the author on a treadmill has brightened my day no end.
(, Mon 11 Aug 2008, 23:25, closed)
I was inevitably
less energetic than the boy with missing bits of lung and a hole in his heart.
(, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 10:21, closed)

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