Oh, this is an embarrasing one...
...and one I've never spoken of...

Many moons ago - must have been late 70's or early 80's there was a huge snowfall.

As young kids are prone to do, we looked about for things to make sledges from.

I asked my dad, who promptly found a sheet of thin tin and punched two holes in the top to thread some electrical wire through to hold on to while sledging.

Anyway, we took it to a carpark nearby that was sunken and had steep slopes leading down it - ideal for sledging.

After several successful trips to the bottom, it was my turn once again.

I shot off down the hill and straight into a snow-covered rock, which tilted the tin 'sledge' onto it's side....with me still on it.

So now, I'm sitting on top of a piece of tin about .2mm thick, and of course it's cut through my drainpipes and through my y-fronts and then through my.......yep, through the end of my cock.

Nice.

Not.

About 10 mins of lying on the floor in agony and my black drainpipes slowly turning a dark shade of purple, an elderly lady (well, she was elderly to me, she must have been about 40!) came over to see why there were about 10 kids all standing round in a circle with white faces looking down at an 8 year old boy clutching his privates.

She says, "are you ok, little boy?"

"No, I cut my willy" was just about all I could manage.

She then lifts me up, pulls my drainies down and has a look at my bloody cock.

"Hmmm," she says "do you live around here? Can I take you home"

"I told her that there was no-one at home as they were visiting my nan's house"

Anyway, she took me up there, despite my protestations that I shouldn't get in cars with strangers, and then had to parade my crimson pork sword in front on my mum, dad, nan and grandad while they all looked on and said things like "oooh" and "aaah".

Scarred, I am. Not physically though, luckily.
(dchurch bah, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 10:50, 5 replies)

arrrrrrrrrrgh
for fucks sake, I don't need this with my coffee!

clicks
( Cheeses of Nazareth Where's Captain Kirk? www.whereiskirk.com, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 10:54, closed)

Me either
I can tell you, it was no picnic!

I didn't need it at all, let alone with any beverages.
(dchurch bah, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 10:58, closed)

clicks
Ahhh Dads and their ingenius DIY ideas !

My dad used to make us similar items that should have carried a hazard warning.
(TheRiddler Hmmmmm... I concur., Tue 12 Aug 2008, 11:06, closed)

oh..
..it doesn't stop there.

He once got me a puch maxi 50cc moped (I was 8 remember). It was, to his credit, excellent fun.

....until, he one day made a ramp for us.

It was at least shoulder high to an average sized adult.

Of course, being 8 years old, meant that none of us had any fear (yet).

A kid from next door came over and was convinced to go up the ramp as fast as the Puch would carry him (i.e. not very).

Cue a belly flop of a landing and one completely uncontrollable puch maxi - followed by a Puch Maxi shaped hole in the back fence and one 8 year old kid laying on the floor on the other side of the fence unable to speak a word of English due to an excessive winding!

There are many other instances too; like the time he helped us make a bomb and blew the (cast iron) gates to shreds! But that's for another QOTW surely?
(dchurch bah, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 11:33, closed)

i had to stop reading after..
the words "and of course"
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 12:50, closed)