En Route Eastern European City....
me and my mate embarked on a "Bloody Mary" drinking marathon. It started at 8am in the airport Lounge, carried on into the plane, continued on arrival into the hotel bar, flowed out of the hotel to the bar across the street, and reached a drunken climax for me at about 9pm when the ground had began to want to replace the location of sky.

Bravely I made my way back across the street to the hotel , like Indiana Jones avoiding all the booby traps, such as doors, steps and lift buttons.

When I got to my room, I had no swipe key, and because we were staying in a suite I could not wake my roomie who was staying in the bedroom away from earshot of the door.

No problem thinks I. I sit down against the door, planning to regain composure (and the ability to speak) before heading off to reception to sort the problem out.

Unfortunately, I did not regain composure. Instead I fell into an alcohol coma. At some point, the need to vomit arose, and I awoke long enough to find a home for said spew to land - I unzipped my tracksuit top and vomited onto my chest.

Happy that I was now safe from choking, I went back to sleep, still sat outside my room.

Eventually, my other mate returned to find me. His first reaction when he saw me slumped against the door, arms outstretched, with blood and guts pouring out of my chest, was that I had been gunned down by some Eastern European Mafia gang - leaving me dead for no apparent reason other than the fact that I'm a complete gobshite when drunk.

Luckily, my mate was not the panicking type.. He was relieved to find me just extremely f*cking pissed... even if a little smelly.

I think he may have kicked me, as I developed a mystery beer injury in the ribs that could not be explained away.

Apologies for lack of real blood... I'll try harder next time.
( Piper Alpha is being a grumpy northerm bastard on:, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 13:42, 2 replies)

Got asked to leave a TGI's once
when a colleagues joke had made me laugh and snort a heavily Tabascoed mouthful of Bloody Mary out of my nostrils and onto me, him and a couple of other customers. The shrieking with pain and the watering eyes didn't really help my case.
(Oil Slick, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 13:48, closed)

Oil Slick, if you post that as an answer I'll click it =)

(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 14:01, closed)