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This is a question Blood

Like a scene from The Exorcist, I once spewed a stomach-full of blood all over a charming nurse as I came round after a major dental operation. Tell us your tales of red, red horror.

(, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 14:39)
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brighton casualty
I fell off my bicycle drunk, and my ear came off.

To cut a very long story short, a very nice Doctor sewed it back on, but accidentally got a "needle stick"; she stuck my dirty ear needle in her own finger.

An ambulance man came to ask me some questions later - I thought it was just admin. When he asked my profession I said, still drunk, that I was a gigolo. He asked me to repeat myself and I said "a man whore - a gentleman prostitute".

What I hadn't realised was that the Doctor thought there was a good chance she had contracted bad AIDS, and everyone went into a big panic.

I said i was sorry and that it was a joke, and I wasn't really a man whore, I worked in an office.

I thought that was the end of it until i went to get my stitches out and the man said "oh look! Its the man whore". I said I was terribly sorry and that I was no gentleman of the night. He replied that it made no difference, as "prostitute" was now a permanent feature of my medical records.

So if I ever die and my mother asks to see my medical records - she will learn that her son was secretly on the game.
(, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 15:30, 6 replies)
Clicked for the idea...
of contracting 'bad' AIDS.
(, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 16:05, closed)
.. she'd have got "good" AIDS, because it wasn't her fault, as opposed to bad AIDS, if you're gay or a druggie.
(, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 16:39, closed)
Well no thats the point - she thought I was a prostitute and subsequently a carrier of teh bad Aids.
(, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 16:40, closed)
Everything about this post is GREAT
The first line alone garnered a click.

(, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 16:53, closed)
IS this a pearoast?
Because I remember reading it before and laughing just as much then as now!

*click click*
(, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 10:59, closed)
It might be. I bore people in the pub with the same stories over and over again.
(, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 14:10, closed)

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