brighton casualty
I fell off my bicycle drunk, and my ear came off.

To cut a very long story short, a very nice Doctor sewed it back on, but accidentally got a "needle stick"; she stuck my dirty ear needle in her own finger.

An ambulance man came to ask me some questions later - I thought it was just admin. When he asked my profession I said, still drunk, that I was a gigolo. He asked me to repeat myself and I said "a man whore - a gentleman prostitute".

What I hadn't realised was that the Doctor thought there was a good chance she had contracted bad AIDS, and everyone went into a big panic.

I said i was sorry and that it was a joke, and I wasn't really a man whore, I worked in an office.

I thought that was the end of it until i went to get my stitches out and the man said "oh look! Its the man whore". I said I was terribly sorry and that I was no gentleman of the night. He replied that it made no difference, as "prostitute" was now a permanent feature of my medical records.

So if I ever die and my mother asks to see my medical records - she will learn that her son was secretly on the game.
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 15:30, 6 replies)

Clicked for the idea...
of contracting 'bad' AIDS.
(LordMatthius http://www.justgiving.com/marathon-matt2009, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 16:05, closed)

Surely...
.. she'd have got "good" AIDS, because it wasn't her fault, as opposed to bad AIDS, if you're gay or a druggie.
(JohabMorelli is spenging merrily away, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 16:39, closed)

^^^^
Well no thats the point - she thought I was a prostitute and subsequently a carrier of teh bad Aids.
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 16:40, closed)

Everything about this post is GREAT
The first line alone garnered a click.

Whizzo!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 16:53, closed)

IS this a pearoast?
Because I remember reading it before and laughing just as much then as now!

*click click*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 10:59, closed)

^^^^
It might be. I bore people in the pub with the same stories over and over again.
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 14:10, closed)