Bilateral trimming of yer turbinates
"Turbinate bone refers to any of the scrolled spongy bones of the nasal passages in humans and other vertebrates" (thanks wiki).
So, I'm 16, had a few nasal operations to stop gigantic nose bleeds and generally open up my airtubes for breathing purposes. I go out for the count, and wake up feeling croggy, and as I come peoperly to, I notice, out of the bottom vision of my eyes, that my nose appears to be several sizes bigger than I recall. Feel pretty groggy, and as the day wears on, I start feeling a bit spewy. Eventually, I decide that spewing is the only thing that will make me feel better, so imagine my delight when all I barf up is a mass of congealed clots of blood. This continues all day, until they stop giving me the recycled cardboard hat things they have, and start giving me shiny metal bowls to spew into. Eventually, in the evening, as I start to resemble a vampire, they decide to take me back into theatre to see why I'm filling my stomach with blood. Naturally enough, they've just not cauterised my nose properly. Anyhoo, blood transfusions ahoy, and next day I'm feeling a bit better. Imagine my delight when it comes to changing my bandages. Doctor pulls out the old sticky bloody ones, dips the light gauze into some novocaine substance and begins ramming it up my nose. And continues. And continues. 6 fecking feet PER NOSTRIL. To top it all I had little blue plastic splint things stapled to the inside of my nose, which stuck out making me look like a retard. And can I breathe any better? Go on, guess....
( normix, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 17:02, 3 replies)

I guess
yes
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 17:03, closed)

I guess
no?
(dxg, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 17:21, closed)

I guess
Left was better, right was worse.
( Cawl, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 17:24, closed)