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If you can't fix it with a hammer and a roll of duck tape, it's not worth fixing at all, my old mate said minutes before that nasty business with the hammer and a roll of duck tape. Tell us of McGyver-like repairs and whether they were a brilliant success or a health and safety nightmare.

(, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:58)
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Bodgers and Hammer-stein present...
I used a beer can to fry bacon in the woods one summer night,
A chisel as a hammer and a blowtorch as a light,
I've mended fanbelts on my Rover with my wifey's sheer black tights,
I'll never do it right again.

It took ten years to build the kitchen and six months to fix the loo,
My fam'ly had to use the garden when they needed a quick poo,
My wife would leave me but the door's been stuck since ninety-two,
There's always something to maintain.

I made a table from a chair and built a doll's house from a log,
I've flooded hallways and whole houses and once I nearly drowned the dog,
And when I'm thirsty I get hammered on my own homemade grog,
It helps with the constant pain.

I'm only really happy when I've started a small fire,
Correct technique is not a thing to which I ever will aspire,
Get it done and make it fun, why pay a man for hire?
One day I'll cut my jug'lar vein.
(, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 17:52, 2 replies)
So ...
to the tune of ?
(, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 22:05, closed)
"Macarthur Park"

(, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 22:13, closed)

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