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This is a question Bodge Jobs

If you can't fix it with a hammer and a roll of duck tape, it's not worth fixing at all, my old mate said minutes before that nasty business with the hammer and a roll of duck tape. Tell us of McGyver-like repairs and whether they were a brilliant success or a health and safety nightmare.

(, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:58)
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This question is now closed.

Another bodge on my poor old GSX550
As mentioned before (http://www.b3ta.com/questions/bodger/post1120864) my bike was a rolling shit heap. However, I was detrmined to show off to my new girlfriend what a cool biker dude I was. (ie a dangerous twat who should know better.)

Unfortunately, the battery died (probably as a result of my electical bodges). I had a spare from an old XS750 and I hammered that in (tight fit) as a replacment. It seemed to work OK at first, but I noticed fuel comsumption was up a bit and when I had the girlfriend on the back I couldn't get over 55mph. Not very impressive.

This continued for a good six months until I had some spare cash to replace the rapidly dying replacement battery. On getting a proper battery and comparing the two, I noticed that the one I'd been using for the last six months was a good 30mm taller than the proper one and had been blocking the intake to the air filter. The bike had been running very rich with hardly any air getting in, which explained the thirsty MPGs and the general lack of go.
Unfortunately, by this time the girlfriend had fucked off and she never got a chance to be scared shitless by my twat-like riding of the newly de-congested GSX.
(, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:28, Reply)
I miss B&Q most of all.
I'm currently working on a building site in The Philippines. All builders here tend to have a phd in bodging.

We have buckets made out of old plastic industrial containers for concrete.
We have water cached on site in two old dustbins instead of a water main.
We have scaffolding made out of coco-lumber which is nailed together.
We have a welding machine that's got a front panel made from wood and has two wires as an on/off switch.
We aren't using a laser level, but a tube with water in it.
We have a site sound-system that's an old clock radio in a bag and hung on a hook. This is wired to the mains with cable not much thicker than the stuff you'd use for the switches in a PC case.
We have flip-flops instead of safety shoes and sunglasses instead of welding glass.
We have a ladder that's actually a cable run borrowed from the local industrial estate.

But, the absolute biggest bodge so far is this:

Which is the site portakabin. Which one of the crew is living in as he's fallen out with his Missus.

It's going quite well, 60 odd days in an no-one's been injured and we're about to put the roof on...
(, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 9:04, Reply)

(, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 8:21, Reply)
Not mine, thankfully...
(, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 0:59, 1 reply)
My Dad died after forty years bodging several jobs round the house. Some of his worst offences, only revealed when we started doing our own repairs after he popped it, include:

- five complete layers of bathroom tiles, one on top of the other, on all four walls, floor to ceiling - the room, small to begin with, was a foot bigger all round when we got them all off. The lazy bugger had fitted new sinks, loos and baths over the years progressively closer together...
- tin foil in every socket in the fusebox and accompanying scorch marks up the wall. (Clearly apprenticed to Fredz Grandad there....;-)..)
- painted a wall without moving the furniture - we found 'hole in the wall' style outlines of a bookshelf, armchair and a plant-stand..... A PLANT-STAND!!!

I mean ffs! And I fell for it when he used to pronounce 'If a job's worth doing, it's worth doing well.'
(, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 0:03, 1 reply)
Oh no, that was a bodge.
(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 22:39, Reply)
Crete 2007

Probably as well that we were not on honeymoon!!

Stay clear of the Hotel Fereniki in Georgioupolis!!
(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 22:23, Reply)
I belong to a theatre company in my spare time and set building is the secret art of the bodge but with panache and style.. My particular fave was a boat we made for a show I produced last December.. it had a real ships mast that swung round for part of the show and was the most amazing thing I've ever seen made from some steel deck and a load of plywood!

Pics to follow when I've sorted them...
(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 21:52, 1 reply)
In questionable taste, but...
I wonder if the BOJ's job of injecting nigh on $190 billion will settle the market jitters.
(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 20:56, 2 replies)
My mechanic of long standing
was working on my Honda Accord replacing the clutch. When finished the engine wouldn't turn over. Somewhat perplexed he rummaged through the engine but to no avail. I suggested may perhaps a fuse had blown and lo and behold a 50amp had.

Not having the required part he presented me with a small piece of wire and began to rig it in where the fuse was. Not realizing this was an option I asked why were fuses even necessary. I was told that fuses are safer as if they overheat they burn out whereas a wire will go on fire.

Somewhat worried I asked would this happen here. He laughed heartily and said no. I started the car. Fusebox went on fire.
(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 20:50, 1 reply)
Bodge trolling job. Dr Shambolics attempt at trolling. Doc can't take his own medicine?
You have 1 unread message.

Sent To Dr. Shambolic:

re: Shhh now.
aww baby. The doc never likes his medicine. Your sock puppets and lame talkers are great fun. What happened to BGN? xxx
( Emperor Cowface Moo, Wed 16 Mar, 20:39, reply)
in reply to:
Shhh now.
You're starting to look ridiculous.
( Dr. Shambolic more haggondaz and ireliviency, Wed 16 Mar, 20:36)
(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 20:46, 17 replies)
I'm an architect, and usually a very thorough one.
I was working on plans to a building for a client, a huge job and very early in my career, so it was make or break. I had spent weeks of 12 or 16 hour days on these plans making sure everything was perfect. In my line of work, if you screw up a project you don't get many second chances. I had everything drawn up, structural, electrical, facade. Everything except HVAC, and no matter what I did, I couldn't get one hot air vent to fit where it was supposed to go. I had everyone on my team work on it, and short of an entire redesign of the plans, nobody could find a solution.

In the US, there's an old saying, "good enough for government work." Because government projects are built by the lowest bidder, many times contractors use bodge jobs to save on costs. I didn't want to be one of those people, but it was a government building we were designing, and we had run out of solutions, so we said screw it and fit the exhaust vent where it really shouldn't have gone and submitted our plans.

Imagine my embarrassment when not even a year later, I heard some terrorist shot a missile into the vent and blew up the whole building!

Apologies if this has bindun a million times already.
(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 20:01, 2 replies)
Water Heater Fixup
Our First Home: Water Heater in the garage had a drip-drip-quantity leak in the drain-down valve. Previous owner couldn't pony up for a rubber washer. His fix? Run the warm water through a hose attached to the valve, across the floor, out the roll-up, and onto the driveway. The first of many surprises.
(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 19:22, 2 replies)
Most impressive bodge jobs I've done/seen
1) Spliced 2 broken laptop chargers together to make one working charger. Harder than it looks as there's an inner insulated cable. Duct tape and a kitchen knife. Surprisingly it worked long enough for me to buy a new one. Might still work for all I know, but the duct tape heated up a bit too much for my liking.

2) Removed a bed post and replaced it with rope and a bit of wood. So far still holding....

3) My Grandad's one this one. Basicaly he never bought fuses, instead he just rolled up some of the silvered lining from the inside of the old style cigarette cartons and used those. When he finally relented and called in an electrician the guy went pale just looking at it.

4) My brother's laptop. First the keyboard broke, so he bought an external USB keyboard and plugged that in. Then the mousepad, so he bought a mouse. Then the speakers, screen, and yeah - wound up with the most unportable laptop ever.
(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 19:18, Reply)
Builders, Engineers and Architects.

Looking for an ecological building material that will give you a solid construct tougher than concrete?

Build your house out of weetabix, pour milk over it and let it set for 5 days.

Its fucking bombproof.
(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 11:26, 15 replies)
While I will only ever live in my father's shadow
Story here

I would like to think that I do my bit for bodging in a similar spirit, and also sticking it to The Man a little.

I work for a faceless grey corporation, and we have a clear-desk policy. This is the idea that at the end of each day, every desk is completely clear, so that anyone can hot-desk at yours if need be.

I, however, run the joint, and as such have made my little corner my home. I have an old plastic crate that the team uses for shredding, paperclips abound as holders for rubber bands, cup stabilizers, and reminders. The plastic on the side of my monitor fell off during an over-enthusiastic game of try-and-twat-each-other, and as such is held on with rubber bands, and my crowning glory is my father's original 1960s camera tripod, which serves as a very useful coat and hat rack.
(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 10:59, 6 replies)
There is no word in German for bodge jobs.
So I don't know vhat you are talking about.
(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 10:06, 18 replies)
Who needs proper tools?
Erm, me it would appear.

I had to get the exhaust system off my VFR400 to get it welded, but the studs were proving a bit of a mare. Especially the last one. (Why is it always the last one? Do we subconsciously not attempt the awkward one first even though we can't know, or does the law of sod tighten the last one only as we approach it?)
I'd tried heating it, every variation of mole grip, those 'special' vice spanners I got off QVC, cutting a line into it to get a screwdriver in. Nothing worked.
Before I gave up, I remembered an old broken electric drill I had. I took off the chuck arrangement, hand tight around the stud, then my 'special' spanner to turn it. Bugger me (or blow me) it worked. I now know the perfect tool for extracting studs! Shame I can't get the stud out of my makeshift extractor now!
(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 9:37, Reply)

I dont know why, but Little Fluffy here does a good job keeping the monkeys away from the guavas thus avoiding to:
a) get a "pest consultant"
b) buy a gun to scare then away
c) destroy the environment chopping down trees to make home made catapaults.(there were lots I assure you)

Now the fuckers are content to stare from a safe distance.
(, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 6:58, 3 replies)

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