My missus had a natural childbirth, albeit induced, owing to mini-me being in an odd position and seemingly in some distress.

She wanted me in the room with her, and I agreed. However, we both agreed some months before, that my eyes should stay north of the equator, and for that, I am eternally happy. I really didn't want to see her bits in a state of severe distress. I have seen many recordings of other births, good and bad - but I had no desire to see my girl's body in that state.

At the end of it, the amount of blood on the floor was up in the 'mop and bucket' range. It looked like something from a slasher flick, but with the super-clean highly polished, clean white tiles of the delivery suite.

She was was pale through blood loss, tired, worn and very badly torn, but ever so happy. My wee lad then flipped the bird to me, and latched.

The immortal words of a dear and departed mate who had practised medicine for a good fifty years in Australia mostly, and PNG for a while, still ring in my ears: "Why women want to do this to themselves is beyond me." He was a father of three. He left this place a few days short of his ninetieth birthday, with a smile on his face, just over a year ago. He was a joker during his lifetime, and doubtless he had a funny thought during those terminal moments.


The prize for the most horror that a human body can display to its owner? Childbirth - by a country mile.
(EffinNitWit asks his tobacco where his whisky is, Mon 15 Jul 2013, 13:29, 2 replies)

Really, the worst?
Google some images of Fournier's gangrene and you may feel differently.
(unclestinky, Tue 16 Jul 2013, 0:06, closed)

Cannot unsee. Thanks, mate!

All else I see will be akin to pretty flowers.
(EffinNitWit asks his tobacco where his whisky is, Tue 16 Jul 2013, 9:52, closed)

As a ladygirl, why other women would want to go through this is beyond me too!
Bring on the not-so-dystopian future with warehouses full of artificial uteri, I say.
( Yo 'Ho of Charlie mass-market saucetrepreneur, Tue 16 Jul 2013, 11:34, closed)