Not Gertrude...
Strangely enough, there was one before the earlier first post story (Woo!) - So Gertrude wasn't the first hottie (Ok, Gertrude wasn't a hottie after all - see my earlier post about that psycho).

Anyhoo - I digress.

Let's call her Esmerelda.....

It was wayyyy back in the depths of time at college - She was a hot brunette (Ok, so she wasn't hot really, but I thought she was) - She had a great body and seemed totally normal.

When should I have heard alarm bells?

When my college friends started deserting me because they hated her? No.
When she attacked any college friend who talked to me? Especially the women... No.
When I found out that her uncle had abused her as a child** ? No.
When she decided that she was gay? No.
When she got a girlfriend who was manipulative and hated me? No.
When she got a gay bloke friend who hit on me repeatedly? No.
When she, her insane girlfriend and the guy tried to convince me I was gay? No.
When I went to Uni and she stayed with me and upset my new Uni friends? No.

When Gertrude took me to one side and told me that Esmerelda was a freaking nutter?? Actually, yes. Gertrude did do some good I guess - that and I thought I was in with Gertrude.

Esmerelda had come up for a long weekend - she stayed the Friday night and came out with us and she was damned annoying to boot - I had words with Gertrude and on Saturday morning I literally dragged Esmerelda down to the train station, put her on the train and never saw her again.

Ok - hands up to this one (I hang my head in shame) - I did speak to her a few times and I went for the out-mentalising her by telling her that I loved her.... Worked though :-)


** True story - it meant that I stayed another 2 years....
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Fri 17 Nov 2006, 20:19, Reply)