Dear Reader, I once was that nutter...
When I was around 14 I fell madly in love with a girl who I used to go to school with (Lets call her Sophie, for that is her name). I thought she was stunning, nice as pie and destined to be my future wife. Little things got in the way such as her long term boyfriend but I didn't let that phase me. Over a period of two years I steadily became more and more pathetic.

Some of the highlights of these two years include...

-Getting drunk every weekend and ring her just to confess her undying love and she began ignoring my calls.

-Making attempts to change classes just so I could be in a one with her and if I couldn't change i'd get my mates in her class to report back on what she'd said that lesson.

-Being obsessed with the song 'Just The Way I'm Feeling' by Feeder because she liked it.

-Deliberately crocking her boyfriend in a football match. I felt very guilty after my obsession died down as her boyfriend was really patient with me, even though I did hate his guts.

-Attempting to slash my wrists with a broken Brown Ale bottle because my best mate started going out with her. It only lasted a week because she was a frigid bitch.

-Crying myself to sleep on Christmas day because she'd told one of my mates she'd never, ever go out with me.

One evening she got very, very drunk and went one further than her usual forced rant about how much of a nice guy I was and how she would go out with me if it wasn't for any number of things. She began to cop off with me, quite openly infront of all our friends. I thought my luck had finally came in, two years of persistance had finally paid off. I'd moved out from being the sad bastard who longed after the girl to the suave bastard who got the girl.

How wrong I was.

All was going well until she borrowed my phone and snuck off. I followed her and over heard her confessing her love to not just one or her ex's but two. I was fucking fuming by this point and when she came back to get more Sutcliffe love I went completely off it with her, basically telling her to sort her life out. She ran off in a huff to one of her ex's who she just rang who told her the same thing.

I went to bed that night happy, my feelings for her had pretty much disappeared.

You know how I described her as being 'stunning and nice as pie'? Well, I was wrong. She had a really fucking odd shaped head, goggley eyes and nee tits what so ever. Also, she was the most needy, two faced bitch i've ever seen. I felt like an utter tit walking her to and from her house thinking 'Gosh, isn't she a cracking lass!?' when really she was just using me so she didn't get raped.

Now she's going out with an equally nutty lad, but one who's slightly better looking. He offered my hugely camp, openly gay mate out for a fight because he thought he was coming on to Sophie. He didn't believe everyone when they said he batted for the other team and was convinced it was a conspiricy. Ha, Moron.
(Peter Sutcliffe's Right Bollock, Sat 18 Nov 2006, 1:13, Reply)