crap
I was a swot at school and when it came to playing star wars I never got a good role - perhaps being r2d2 once in a while and bleepity-bleeping my way across the playground was as good as it got.

Suffice to say there was the odd bit of bullying and I lacked confidence. I was mr peripheral. I was 10 years old.

THen one day in the library I, being the swot, was putting the new books into their colour coded age and alphabetical ordering and lo! what was this? It can't be. HILARIOUS!!

I skipped out into the classroom and convinced the top boys that if they followed they'd see something funny and brilliant.

They reluctantly skulked in.

TAA-DAAA!!! Look it's a book called CRAP!! And it has a fish on the front. IT'S A FISH CALLED CRAP.

Trev piped up - It says Carp, and a carp is a fish. He shot a pitiful look that said 'twat'.

Off they skulked back out.

Yes, in my eagerness to be accepted I'd opened myself up to yet more ridicule, and perhaps a few more sessions of being forced to pick the soap up out of bog that my bullying friends had dropped there after using.

But and odd thing happened. I revelled inside myself how funny the it would have been if there was a fish called CRAP.

Ha ha! CRAP. What if you went fishing and caught CRAP. Did someone win CRAP at the fair? What if someone caught and ate CRAP?

This was the very beginning of my developing a perculiar sense of humour which over the years has built confidence and won friends (though not quite women over yet). Woo and all thanks to CRAP. The best book I never read.
(Heyzeus, Fri 16 May 2008, 15:32, Reply)